It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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