I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
