we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You don't make any sense
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