do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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