so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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