I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
