I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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