u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
