We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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