PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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