Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
