The maid of honor just puked.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
