I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
