i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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