She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
