So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
