He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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