no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
