ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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