I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
