Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She bit a glass in half.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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