Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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