I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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