But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize