Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
