We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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