making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
