I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bring me that man meat
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
