Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think I am morally bankrupt
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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