she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
