And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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