At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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