Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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