I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
