So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
