My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
