Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
