fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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