Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
