I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
