i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
