Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
