My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
