He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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