??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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