Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I love you. Go after that dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
