You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
