i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
