I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I smell like Dick and happiness
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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