You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
